LUCY ŞiiENiZ

After the great fall,

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We dove slowly into madness. Dove fins on the shoreline. Great wallows where you could wish for greater skies to swim in. Perfect. Indecent. Deep red. Deep red gushing over the tall bricks or were they rocks? Head burn and gazing yellow with your hair knotted black over the dent in your skull. Wish for something. Wish for it now or lose it. My best friend. Swelling up in the evening by candlelight. White cotton down and around your arms and I wished you well but I spoke quietly and you couldn't hear me because of the holes that were growing in your brain. Love you, loved you and will love you even if you aren't feeling too great. Death to the past and all of it could've happened to anyone so I kept on counting petals. 

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Love me or love me not. Either way, we swung from ropes with tires attached and washed away the bugs in the new spring. Gone forever. I'm getting better now but you couldn't. Okay, it's okay you said and it wasn't. White heads bobbing along. I'm one of many and your mother held me like her own. I was only a fawn and for a moment the world turned inside out and all of the parts of life that weren't supposed to be seen were sprawled across the lawn like an operating table. The heaviness of bodies with their new inlays of sin. There is no beauty in this one.